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OLD FIRM ARE STUCK IN THE PAST...

VLADIMIR ROMANOV last night tipped Hearts to mount a sustained assault on the SPL title this season - because he swears the Old Firm are stuck in the past.

The Tynecastle owner spoke out ahead of this weekend's big kick-off to underline his hopes and ambitions for the new campaign.

And while the big-spending Lithuanian banker admitted he is unlikely to launch any major cash splashes he insisted manager Valdas Ivanauskas already has the players in place to put up a title fight.

Romanov saw his side split the big two last season, lift the Scottish Cup and claim a place in the Champions League qualifiers.

Now he reckons his squad were only playing at between 50 and 60 per cent of their capabilities throughout a traumatic campaign that saw them lose two managers - George Burley and Graham Rix.

And Romanov backs Ivanauskas to revolutionise Scottish football with a new attacking brand of football that will be too radical for Gordon Strachan and Paul Le Guen to keep up with. He said: "A successful season for me will be seeing the management team working together.

 

"I want them not only to use experienced players but also young players. This may be a risk but that's what I'd like.

"I want young players in the team and for Hearts to have a unique style.

"Scottish football needs to change its style for the game to progress here.

"I don't think there will be much progress from Celtic or Rangers because they cannot change their style so quickly - they have a long history of playing the style they do.


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Quote:
Originally Posted by Admin2

"I don't think there will be much progress from Celtic or Rangers because they cannot change their style so quickly - they have a long history of playing the style they do.

 

If it ain't broke, Don't fix it.    

 

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Boruc looking for clean sweep

Artur Boruc would love to see Celtic complete a domestic clean sweep this season - and he sees no reason why it cannot happen.

The Hoops goalkeeper was in fine form at the weekend as the Scottish champions began their defence of the title with a 4-1 win over Kilmarnock in the Bank of Scotland Premier League.

Main rivals Rangers and Hearts also signalled their intent with victories over Motherwell and Dunfermline respectively, but the Poland international is confident Celtic will enjoy another successful season.

Celtic scooped the SPL title and the CIS Insurance Cup last term, with Hearts claiming the Tennent`s Scottish Cup after Gordon Strachan's team suffered an embarrassing exit at the hands of First Division Clyde.

But Boruc, 26, is determined to go one better this time around.

He said: "I want to win everything this season.

"In every game you play, you are playing for the win and that is the same in any competition.

"We will give everything we have in every match we play in and I want to win the league, the Scottish Cup and the League Cup.

"If we play the way we can, then everything will be good. Trust me, we will be champions again.

"There are a lot of new players here again this year, like every season at a big club, but I think we can be champions again.

"There is real quality in this team and we can play better."

Boruc knows Celtic will also be expected to make an impact in the Champions League this season.

They crashed out of Europe at the hands of Artmedia Bratislava at the first hurdle exactly 12 months ago.

Fellow keeper David Marshall was between the sticks for the 5-0 drubbing in Slovakia - Strachan`s first competitive match in charge.

And, even though Boruc kept a clean-sheet in the 4-0 win at Parkhead, it was not enough to undo the damage from the first leg and keep their Champions League hopes alive.

This time around, the Scottish champions have won automatic entry into the group stages and the ex-Legia Warsaw man knows it is an opportunity to make amends and impress on the European stage.

Boruc told the Celtic View: "This is going to be a big season for us because we are going to be playing in the Champions League.

"It is a big chance for every one of us to show to a worldwide audience how good we are."


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Rangers revive traditional songs
Rangers fans
Sheets of song lyrics will be issued to the fans
A drive to eradicate sectarian songs at matches has been launched by Rangers Football Club.

Fans will be encouraged to revive traditional songs instead of "discriminatory chanting" which caused trouble with governing body Uefa.

In May, Rangers were fined more than £13,000 and severely criticised after video evidence was presented at a hearing of fans singing The Billy Boys.

The club will now play its "long- forgotten" songs over its PA system.

It will also issue lyrics for the traditional songs on match days, beginning with the first home game of the new season on Saturday.

Like many other Rangers supporters you sing that song without actually meaning the words you're singing
Jim Templeton
Rangers Supporters Assembly

It is understood the songs will include Wolverhampton Town, a song which celebrates the club's semi-final success against Wolves in the inaugural European Cup Winners' Cup in 1961.

Uefa officials have warned Rangers they face expulsion from European competitions if they do not eradicate bigotry from the stands.

They were ordered to make a public announcement at all of their home games prohibiting the chanting of Billy Boys.

Last week, club chairman David Murray warned that the consequences of fans continuing to sing sectarian songs would be grave.

'Show respect'

"We are creating initiatives for match days, we've been meeting supporters' groups, we've been meeting editors of newspapers, we have been pleading with the fans to show respect," Mr Murray told Rangers TV.

He said a small group of fans who wanted to continue to behave in an unacceptable a manner were doing no service to the club whatsoever.

"You are jeopardising the future of our club," he said.

Rangers chairman David Murray
Rangers chairman David Murray has appealed to the fans

Jim Templeton, of the Rangers Supporters Assembly, said the Billy Boys song and the lyric "we're up to our knees in fenian blood" caused particular offence.

He admitted singing the song himself at Rangers games, but said he did not feel any remorse afterwards.

"I know if that comes out in the wrong context it won't sound too good but like many other Rangers supporters you sing that song without actually meaning the words you're singing," Mr Templeton said.

He said fans of Dundee or Kilmarnock, who sing a version of the Billy Boys, did not mean it when they sang up to their knees "in Arab blood" or "Ayr blood" when playing their local rivals.

"At the time you don't feel guilty because basically you don't mean it," he said.

"Under the current circumstances with the Uefa directive it's got to work because there's a serious chance of damaging the name of Rangers Football Club."


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Arrests over Chelsea-Celtic clash
Seventeen people have been arrested after trouble flared in the build up to a friendly football match between Chelsea and Celtic at Stamford Bridge.

The game, which ended with a 1-1 draw, had been dubbed the Battle of Britain as the English Premiership champions took on their Scottish counterparts.

Police said arrests were made after various public order offences.

There were further reports of a minor assault and three disturbances along Fulham Road outside Chelsea's ground.

About 20,000 fans, including several Chelsea pensioners, turned out to watch the pre-season warm-up.

A spokesman for the Metropolitan Police said there were no major disturbances after the game.


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21 August 2006
ABUSED FOR BEING A CATHOLIC AND IRISH
By Bob Caldwell

NEIL LENNON today opens his heart on the sectarian and racial abuse he has endured.

The Celtic captain says bigotry is a problem in Scotland and too many people sweep it under the carpet.

Lennon, 35, makes his comments in his autobiography, Man And Bhoy, serialised in the Daily Record.

LENNON: Abused


THE Old Firm match at Ibrox in November, 2004, was pure bedlam from start to finish - full of passion on both sides.

Alan Thompson was sent off after Peter Lovenkrands went down rather too artfully for my liking and Chris Sutton was red-carded.

We were two men and two goals down and I was being vilified everywhere I went on the pitch.

I had never known the abuse to be so bad and it reached a climax when I went to chase a ball that had gone out of play.

I was bombarded with Rangers scarves, so I thought it would be funny to pretend to spit and polish my boots with one of them.

That only endeared me further to the Rangers support but what happened after the match sent them apoplectic.

As usual after the final whistle, I went over to salute the Celtic fans in the Broomloan Road stand when I saw Martin O'Neill coming towards me.

I really didn't know what he was going to do. But then he put his arm around me and walked with me towards our fans.

In view of the public and cameras, he was saying: "This is my team and they are my players, and I back them to the hilt."

When I realised what he was doing, the Celtic fire within me flamed up and I, too, gestured my defiance to our support.

The Press and broadcasters went crazy. There were calls for Martin and I to be disciplined but as usual the reactions were all over the top.

One of the more bizarre interventions came from the normally sensible Rangers Supporters Trust who paid a lip reader to "prove" that I had called the fans "orange b*******" during the game.

Leaving aside the fact you didn't need a lip reader to hear thousands of Rangers supporters abusing me, I categorically deny shouting that at their fans.

But you should have heard what I said to Alex McLeish and their bench. It was after that game that Martin made a much-publicised remark: that I had been subjected to racial and sectarian abuse. I was being abused for being Irish and Catholic.

He was criticised in many quarters for saying that but I could see the point that he was making.

I now know how players like John Barnes, Ian Wright and Viv Anderson must have felt when they first encountered racial abuse.

When you are the victim of abuse, the football pitch can be a lonely place and in a sense you are not really one of the 22 players on the field.

I have played in games in England in which players were racially abused. It is extremely unpleasant, not just for the poor guy who is being subjected to the jeers or monkey chants or whatever but also for his fellow players.

No player minds if he is being booed or jeered because fans don't like his performance but to be abused simply because you're black or because you are Irish or a Catholic is surely beyond the pale in any civilised society. It has been going on for five years now and I am quite used to it.

Although it gets annoying from time to time, it is just something I have to tolerate.

Curiously, the abuse did not take place when I first arrived at Celtic. It only began to happen on a regular basis after I was booed and jeered while playing for Northern Ireland.

Since then, it has happened to me so often, that it is really a matter of little concern to me. If anything, I have used it to spur me on, with a feeling of: "I'll show you."

My team-mates also rallied round me and felt the same way about one of their number being abused.

So if you are one of the people who jeered me, how does it feel to know you helped to inspire me and my fellow Celts to play better against your team?

And since I have been in a team which has won more trophies in the past five seasons than any other Scottish club, how clever does that make you?

Why have I been singled out for this treatment? Some people say it is because I am combative.

But as far as I know, I have never changed my style and, as I say, no one booed me incessantly before the Northern Ireland situation erupted.

I think it is fairly obvious that in places such as Ibrox and Tynecastle, it is because I am an Irish Catholic who plays for Celtic.

I am not saying I have received sectarian abuse in every stadium in Scotland but undoubtedly the motivation for some people to boo me is bigotry.

In a twisted view of the world, they think they can express their sectarian outlook by abusing me, picking on me because I am the highest-profile Irish Catholic in Scottish football.

That appears to me to be the principal reason why I have been subjected to this long campaign of abuse at so many grounds.

I will say it again - bigotry is a problem in Scotland and too many people are happy not to confront the issues involved. The majority of the population are decent folk who abhor sectarianism but there is a sizeable minority who express their anti-Catholic feelings at football matches.

Put it this way, if I was a captain of Celtic who hailed from somewhere in Lanarkshire, does anyone really think that I would be booed and jeered every time I touched the ball?

People who carry out this activity should take a long look at themselves but I won't hold my breath waiting for them to do so.

I am disappointed with the number of journalists who have acted as apologists for the abusers.

They have written that I am abused because of my aggressive manner or because I have an arrogant style.

So why is it that other players who have been aggressive or arrogant over the years have not received the same constant, continuous abuse as I have?

Some people in the Press have depicted me as someone who could not control himself on the field and that, too, in some way, excuses the abuse I have received.

So why is it that my disciplinary record is actually nowhere near the worst? I have only been sent off once in a league match in nearly six years in Scotland.

All I have done on the field of play is to stick up for myself and my fellow Celtic players and defend ourselves from our opponents.

I have done no more than Roy Keane did at Manchester United or Terry Butcher did for Rangers in his heyday. Yet, many people in the media do not see it that way.

They actively go out of their way to ignore the abuse I have suffered or act as an apologist for the abusers instead of having the guts to say what is really going on.

I get booed from the second I walk on to the pitch at Ibrox and Tynecastle in particular, yet there are journalists who are happy to sweep these things under the carpet and pretend that it is happening because I wind other players up.

For all the logic in that argument, they would be as well writing that people jeer me because I have red hair.

What really annoys me about those who give me personal abuse is that none of these people - not journalists, not fans - nobody except my family and friends really know what I am like as a person.

Extracted from Neil Lennon: Man And Bhoy by Neil Lennon to be published by HarperSport on September 4, priced £17.99. Copyright Neil Lennon 2006. To order copies of the book at the special price of £15.99 each, postage and packing free, please call 08707 871 724 quoting reference 849D.


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25 August 2006
A NAME OF TWO HALVES
Celtic's latest signing follows in the footsteps of many oddly-titled stars
 

CELTIC'S new striker Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink is going to prove a challenge to fans and commentators alike.

The Dutch hitman's name is a bit of a mouthful and it gave the kitman at Parkhead a real headache.

Fans wanting his name on a jersey will also have to fork out. At 97p a letter, it will cost £19.40 for the new signing's name to be printed on the back.

Simply opting for "Jan" may be one option. However, the newly arrived star may not want to give up on his esteemed family name as the handle comes from an ancient union between the Vennegoor family and the Hesselinks.

Both being of equally high social standing, the families decided that amalgamating the two surnames by simply placing "of", or "or" in English, between them would benefit everyone involved.

But Jan is not the only footballer to be lumbered with an unusual, faintly ridiculous or extra-long name to fit on his shirt. Here are some of our favourites.

Brazilian legend Pele was actually named Edson Arantes do Nascimento, after the American inventor Thomas Edison. Originally tagged Dico by his family, his shorter and more dashing nickname of Pele only came about when he was a schoolboy because of the way he pronounced the name of his favourite player, Sao Paulo keeper Bile. Strangely, though, it resembles both the Irish word for football, Peile, and the Hebrew word for wonder.

Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink is not the first player with a strange name to play at Celtic Park.

Brazilian Rafael Scheidt's name sounded a little too much like something else for comfort and, to the misery of Celtic fans, the defender lived up to his handle.

He is not the first footballer with an odd-sounding name to come out of Holland either - Dundee United once had aDutchman on their books called Freddie van der Hoorn.

Not that all British players have perfectly sensible sounding names - Aberdeen famously had a player in the Fifties called Harry Haddock and more recently the club had an English forward called Dean Windass.

And while former Scotland goalkeeper and TV presenter Bob Wilson seems to have a pretty ordinary moniker, his middle name shoots him to the top of the league of inappropriate names - his full name is Bob Primrose Wilson.

Other middle names which help players stand out include Gary Lineker's (Winston), Emile Heskey's, which include Ivanhoe, and Peter Schmeichel's, who happens to be actually called Peter Boleslaw Schmeichel.

But perhaps the best belongs to former Nottingham Forest and Liverpool hardman Larry Lloyd, who probably didn't let many people know his middle name was Valentine.

Then of course there are England stars Nicky Butt and David Batty and former Blackpool hero Junior Bent - their names have given opposition fans endless amounts of ammunition.

The Lithuanian influence at Hearts has also given us the tongue-twisting Deividas Cesnauskis and Saulius Mikoliunas, while Hibs have two Moroccans on their books called Abdessalam Benjelloun - shortened to Benji - and Merouane Zemmama.

Dundee United also used to have a dud striker aptly named Jean-Jacques Misse- Misse, who came from Guinea and signed in 1997. In the 1998 and 2002 World Cup, a Francisco Arce played for Paraguay and his nickname, unbelievably, was Chiqui.

The Argentinian coach at the last World Cup was Jose Pekerman and in the late 90s, a Wolfgang Wolf was, believe it or not, the manager of Wolfsburg.

But it is maybe the African nations who have the most exotic names in football. At the 2006 World Cup, Ghana fielded Alex Tachie-Mensah, Otto Addo and Razak Pimpong.

And from the 2002 tournament there were Serge Kwetche, Augustine Simo and Joseph-Desire Job from Cameroon, Jay-Jay Okocha and Sunday Oliseh of Nigeria and Doctor Khumalo and Naughty Mokoena, both from South Africa.


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The bottom line with biggatory is, most of the guys who rant and rave about it will not realise how pointless and stupid it is, untill they or one of there family or mates gets badly beaten or killed through shouting racial songs, wearing colours or being a specific religion.The Celtic and Rangers football teams should both be banned. It makes me sick to the stomach when I think of all the needless deaths, prison sentences and hurt that they both have caused, football these days is too commercialised, with most of Scotland not even being able to pronounce half the thier teams players names, match fixing is rife too, its just bloody difficult to proove.

5 years ago I got my face and arm smashed up by 2 guys with baseball bats for singing Irish Rebel songs in the most Orange town in Scotland(Drongan, Ayrshire) , I heard orange music, and started my reindition of  "I am a Merry Ploughboy" , I didnt know it was the 12 of July, I was on an eckie comedown and had pulled a wee burd fae Drongan the night before at the dancin in Ayr,  she gave me a few vallies( blue dont give a fuck tablets) for ma come doon the next day (bad move), any way a smashed all thier windows and motors with a fencing stab, 10 minutes  after they done me way the baseball bats, and the dirty shitebags ended up phoning the polis on ME!!!!!!!!

Suppose I got a result, 16 stiches, a metal plate in ma arm and a deffered sentence, the best of it is, I'm a fuckin protestant (who supports Celtic) , and the wee burd I was with, her old mans a grand master of the Orange lodge in Drongan.

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BBC News
Footballer is cautioned for blessing himself
The Sunday Times, UK - 18 hours ago
A ROMAN Catholic footballer who blessed himself during a ... teams have strong religious associations, Celtic seen as ... said it was disappointed the player had not ...
Cross to bear The Sunday Times
Boruc finds Old Firm rivalry remains stained by history The Sunday Times
all 95 news articles »


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28 August 2006
CLUELESS...

FRUSTRATED Rangers boss Paul Le Guen last night admitted he hasn't a clue why his misfiring players keep squandering chances.

Paul Le Guen

Paul Le Guen is baffled by Rangers' recent record

The Ibrox side blew a golden chance to move back to the top of the SPL after they were held to a 2-2 draw by Kilmarnock yesterday.

Arsenal target Steven Naismith was the Killie hero with a last-gasp penalty but Rangers should have had the game sewn up long before then.

Although Kris Boyd struck twice, Dado Prso, Libor Sionko and Thomas Buffel were guilty of bad misses and with keeper Graeme Smith turning in a man-of-the-match display Le Guen's men were made to pay a heavy price.

 

Asked what could be done to sort out the problem in front of goal, Le Guen said: "Give me an idea to find a solution. It is unbelievable. It know it's my job but it is difficult after such a game.

"I am so frustrated because the quality of our game was there. We had so many clear chances. It is unbelievable to me that we lost two points.

"I do have the feeling that the players gave all they could. They fought well and I was pleased with the way we played again.

"There was a lot of good movement and I will repeat that the quality of our game was there. I'm so frustrated to have only one point. We must keep our heads up. The only way to find the solution is to work hard. I feel we will be able to find it."

While Rangers were obviously nowhere near their best up front, the defence was again breached twice, first by FrazerWright's equaliser and then Naismith's dramatic penalty.

Le Guen said: "You must remember our defence is very young. Karl Svensson and Steven Smith are young players. They must learn quickly because we cannot buy experience. I know that. "If we had scored our chances today, we would not be speaking about that.

"We have the possibility to fight for the title but it is clear we must be more efficient.

"My state of mind is very different to after the game at Dunfermline when I was angry. Today, the way we played the game was good, just not in the last third."

Killie keeper Smith was in outstanding form, arguably his best save stopping Lee Martin from scoring a spectacular solo effort.

And the on-loan Manchester United winger freely admitted Rangers were not good enough when it really mattered.

Martin said: "It was a very frustrating day. We kept making chances and just couldn't put them away. And their keeper produced a great save off me as well.

"You have to give their keeper credit but how many chances are we going to miss?

"We need to work on our finishing and start taking these chances. Goals win games. It's as simple as that.

"We missed an opportunity to go top. We could have used the international break to relax but now the pressure is really on us.

"We need to concentrate in training and make sure we go out and win the next game."

At least in Boyd, Le Guen has one player he can always rely on even if he always wants more from the striker.

The Frenchman said: "I know Kris can score goals and when I say that he must improve, it was for his whole game.

"I know that he is a striker but for me it is not enough. But he was better today."


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28 August 2006
VENNE WILL I SEE YOU AGAIN...
 
CELTIC 2 HIBS 1
 

JAN VENNEGOOR OF HESSELINK took just 13 minutes to do what Kenny Miller has failed to do in 13 matches.

Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink

Unlucky for some but not for Celtic's new £3.5million signing, who scored the winner on his debut after replacing the out-of-sorts Miller at the start of the second half.

A bizarre Dutch tribute song about the man with the longest name in football blared from the Celtic tannoy system to mark the arrival of the former PSV star.

According to one press-room sage, Miller will also have his own tune in future with the Parkhead PA announcer searching through his archives for "When Will I See You Again" by the Three Degrees.

Indeed, with Maciej Zurawski also getting on the scoresheet as Celtic came from behind to win enthralling contest, Miller will almost certainly find himself relegated to the bench when the SPL campaign resumes after the international break.

 

The Scotland's striker's predatory instincts appear to have deserted him since his Bosman switch from Wolves and with Vennegoor of Hesselink and Zurawski striking up an instant productive partnership, selfless Miller must bide his time for another chance.

After a lacklustre 53 minutes Zurawski, who could quite easily have been hooked instead of Miller, suddenly rediscovered his zest for the game when Celtic's newest addition entered the fray.

Playing second best to a Hibs team who were full of enthusiasm, vigour and class, the Pole's clinical penalty-box strike just after the hour was the turning point in a rivetting match.

Until that point the 58,078 crowd had been treated to a midfield master class from Hibs, with Scott Brown, Michael Stewart, Kevin Thomson and the outstanding Merouane Zemmama passing Celtic into submission at times.

Moroccan magician Zemmama was most certainly the daddy in the first half as he lit up Parkhead with sublime artistry.

Neil Lennon just couldn't get near him and he left the Celtic skipper for dead after seven minutes to set up Brown for the opening goal.

Brown's finish was coolness personified and how refreshing it was to watch him and Thomson express themselves against the title holders.

Too many players are crippled by stage fright when they take on the Old Firm on their own patch but Hibs' youngsters strutted around the home of the champions as if they owned the place.

Their passing and movement cut Celtic to shreds but not for the first time this season they were unable to sustain their efforts over 90 minutes. After the break Zemmama faded and when parity was restored following a rare Brown error you got the impression Hibs would struggle to hold out.

Prior to the interval Strachan's side, minus a fit Stilian Petrov, were overwhelmed in the middle of the park but after it Aiden McGeady and Shunsuke Nakamura came to the fore.

As the game opened up and space - which had initially been at a premium - opened up, the two gifted playmakers started to run riot. McGeady was becoming a goal threat every time he touched the ball and his shot from the edge of the area which led to the winner.

The Irishman's effort came crashing back off the post and fell for Vennegoor of Hesselink to hammer past the desperate dive of Zibi Malkowski.

Fellow new boy Lee Naylor enjoyed a more low-key introduction although the former Wolves defender set up the equaliser and can be pleased with his contribution.

Strachan was delighted with his latest acquisitions after they combined to win a game Celtic could easily have lost. The Hoops boss said: "I had to be brave and put Jan on. But I'm a bit lucky I've got a striker of that quality.

"People responded to him and that needed to happen because Hibs always come here and seem to play a good game. Big Jan was the difference.

"For the first 10 minutes Lee looked so excited to be here that he was having a look around but he kept playing away and I thought he and Aiden worked well together.

"There was quite a lot of good movement there. I also thought David Marshall saved the game for us with his stop from Ivan Sproule - and the forwards won it with their goals." Marshall's stunning save in 56 minutes was a pivotal point as the whole complexion of the game would have changed had Sproule buried the chance.

Sproule also missed a great chance when he was clean through at the end of the first half.

But Tony Mowbray refused to blame his misses for the defeat.

He said: "We had two great chances to go 2-0 up and if we'd taken them it could have been a different game. But it's all ifs, buts and maybes. On the balance of play overall the result was probably a fair one. There were a lot of positives to take from The match but we're disappointed to come away again with no points

"It's very difficult to criticise Ivan. He scored a hat-trick against Rangers at Ibrox and he scored here at Celtic Park so he scores goals for us.

"It's a bit frustrating for him and us that he didn't take his opportunities to go 2-0 up but it was good play to get into those areas.

"If we had gone two up it would have been a different game. The crowd might have reacted and put them a bit more under pressure."


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Reply with quote  #27 

Big Jan's the man!


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Imagine the poor commentators "Vennegoor of Hesselink eh...GOAL!" 


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Aye ah know and the thing is the big guy is adamant that they use his full title when refering to him...He must have some sense of humour the big guy!


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Can you imagine if big SALT N' VENNEGOOR hailed from WALES?

 

Have a swatch at this mother of all names:

 

The World's Longest Place Name

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch

This is the name of a town in North Wales. The name translates as "The church of St. Mary in the hollow of white hazel trees near the rapid whirlpool by St. Tysilio's of the red cave" in Welsh, has long claimed the fame of having the longest name in the world. However, there is a hill in New Zealand called:

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu
This Maori mouthful translates into English as "the place where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, who slid, climbed and swallowed mountains, known as 'landeater,' played his flute to his loved one." I consider this a lean short-story, however, and have serious reservations about giving New Zealand the gold since local history has it that the parts about the knees and climbing mountains were recently added just to pull ahead of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch. But you may count it if you like now that Gavin Kingsley has offered photographic evidence of this claim, too.

However, before you make up your mind, consider the favorite of the Guinness Book of Records, the name of Bangkok (Krungthep) in Thai:

Krungthepmahanakonbowornratanakosinmahintarayudyaya-
mahadiloponoparatanarajthaniburiromudomrajniwesmahasatarn-
amornpimarnavatarsatitsakattiyavisanukamphrasit

The translation here is pretty much the unabridged history of the city rather than a word.

krungthep mahanakhon
The land of angels, the great city of

amorn rattanakosin
immortality, various of devine gems,

mahintara yudthaya mahadilok pohp
the great angelic land unconquerable,

noparat rajathanee bureerom
land of nine noble gems, the royal city, the pleasant capital,

udomrajniwes mahasatarn
place of the grand royal palace,

amorn pimarn avaltarnsatit
forever land of angels and reincarnated spirits,

sakatattiya visanukram prasit
predestined and created by the highest devas.

However, we have no pictures of a welcome sign on the road leading into Bangkok and, besides, what is Bangkok? An urban nickname? How many names do we allow places? Could my hometown, Lewisburg, simply vote to add another name, say,

theweeburgbythesusquehannawiththebeautifulthreeglobestreet- lightsandmyuniversiyandthepennsylvaniahousefurniture- companyandthefederalprisonwherejimmyhoffaresided

and, leaving out the spaces and punctuation, take the lead? Enough already!


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